A Familiar Conversation
We’ve all heard it—or maybe even said it.
“She’s just got a bad attitude.”
“He’s lazy.”
“They don’t work well with others.”
These kinds of labels might feel like they name the problem, but they rarely help solve it. In fact, they usually do more harm than good. When feedback is vague or personal, it creates shame, not clarity. And that’s not how people grow.
That’s why we take a different approach—one grounded in behavior, not judgment. Because when feedback is clear, kind, and focused on what someone actually did, it becomes a tool for growth instead of a source of tension.
What Behavior-Based Feedback Actually Is
This isn’t about sugarcoating. And it’s not about being “nice” instead of honest. In fact, it’s the opposite. Behavior-based feedback names specific actions, highlights their impact, and gives someone something concrete to do next. It doesn’t leave people guessing. It doesn’t make it personal. It just helps them understand and improve.
The goal isn’t to avoid hard feedback. It’s to deliver it in a way that’s actually useful.
A Formula That Keeps Feedback Focused
Here’s a line that keeps things simple:
“What I want you to do more of or differently is [behavior] because [impact on the team, workflow, or experience].”
Examples:
“What I want you to do differently is follow through with the sterilization checklist at the end of your shift. When it’s missed, the next team has to rush, and it delays care for the kids.”
“What I want you to do more of is how you noticed that parent looked overwhelmed and stepped in with calm, clear instructions. That really helped the family and made it easier for the team to stay on track.”
It’s a clear request, a reason why it matters, and a chance to improve. No drama. Just direction.
Why This Matters in Fast-Paced, People-First Work
Whether you work in a dental office, a care team, or a service-focused role, the pace is quick and the work is emotional. It’s easy to let frustration slip into our words—especially when things feel tense.
But the way we talk to each other becomes the foundation of our culture. Our words shape the experience—not just for teammates, but for the families and communities we serve.
Clear, grounded feedback creates trust. It helps teams function better. And it reminds everyone that feedback isn’t about perfection—it’s about alignment.
How to Start Using This Right Away
If you want to contribute to a healthier team environment, here are some things to keep in mind:
- Stick to what you saw or heard. Don’t make it personal.
- Say why it matters—connect behavior to impact.
- Give both redirection and recognition.
- Ask yourself: “Is this helping this person grow—or just venting my frustration?”
- When in doubt, use the formula.
And one more thing—this doesn’t just work top-down. Peers can use this with each other. Anyone can.
Final Thought
We’re not trying to avoid hard conversations. We’re just trying to have better ones.
Behavior-based feedback isn’t a buzzword. It’s a way of communicating that respects people and holds them to a standard. It helps teams move forward. It makes space for accountability. And it keeps the focus on what matters most: how we show up for each other and the people we serve.
If we’re serious about building strong, people-first teams, then this is the kind of feedback we need—honest, respectful, and always tied to impact.
Let’s keep practicing it, together.



